I’m tired and I want to go to bed,
I had a little drink about an hour ago,
and it’s gone right to my head.
Oh for fuck’s sake. This. Again.
For those who don’t know the full story, in 2004, some dude got drunk (hereon known as Drunken Dude) and started causing teh_drunken_drahmah. He was picked up by The Blues and left in a cell overnight to sleep it off. Except Drunken Dude decided not to sleep it off, preferring to just die during the night instead.
It was easier than dealing with the hangover the next day.
Now, because this Drunken Dude’s liver was mush and because apparently, that night when his blood alcohol level read 0.29 was the first time he’d ever had a little too much, and because obviously, the cops who had nothing better to do were jealous of not only not being equally drunk but also of Drunken Dude’s massive endowment (I mean, he was black), he’d obviously been used as A White Man’s Punching Bag™.
Obviously.
Anyway. The local community, upon hearing of Drunken Dude’s death, decided to throw a spontaneous wake spanning many days and nights. They enacted several sacred tribal celebrations of the dead including, torching government and private buildings, threatening thanking any Whities in the vicinity, fireworks in a bottle, car remodelling. You know – just the general mourning rites we all partake in at some point.
But see, The Copper involved decided he was going to be a party pooper because it was justnotfair (!) that he didn’t have a big black cock too. He refused to bend over and take any more celebratory backdoor rogering by those who credited him with intentionally mistaking Drunken Dude’s liver for his speed-ball that night.
Stink.
And since it is an unwritten law that Drunken Dude’s with big black cocks should never have to be responsible for their own actions and always, always die suspicious deaths (for them, livers exploded from excess alcohol consumption is a genetically inherited condition and not life-threatening at all), I am still having to listen to this fucking case be ruled on, appealed, reinvestigated, ruled on and appealed for the 400 millionth time this fucking millennium.
Even if his family were (and they weren’t, aren’t and NOT EVER) entitled to damages, they have used up about 7 times what they would have been awarded in legal aid with these constant fucking appeals. Therefore they should sit the fuck down and shut the fuck up and stop making this public servant’s life hell. And mine. Because I’m sick to fucking death of hearing every fucker with a big black cock (or some ugly bitch being porked by one) scream RACISM and GENOCIDE and BLACK DEATHS IN CUSTODY ZOMG because it’s their fucking Sovereign (fuck off) Right to be permanently drunk and a nuisance to the general public.
Go back to the fucking bush and leave civilised society alone.
Puss
